You may not be able to switch off your feelings for someone you see every day, but you can reduce how much your attention and choices revolve around them. A practical start is to accept that the feelings are there, keep necessary interactions polite and bounded, cut back on optional contact and social-media checking, and put more time into your own routines and relationships.
How to stop caring about someone you see every day
Try to think of the goal as moving forward, not forcing yourself to feel nothing. Thoughts or feelings may return, especially when you keep seeing the person; their return does not mean you have failed. Healthline’s guidance on accepting unwanted thoughts and reducing reminders cautions that trying to push thoughts away can make them keep coming back. Instead, notice the thought, name what you are feeling, and gently bring your attention back to what you were doing.
- Acknowledge what is happening. You might say to yourself, “I still have feelings, and I am choosing not to build my day around them.” Recognizing a feeling is not the same as acting on it or deciding it will last forever.
- Keep unavoidable contact brief, polite, and focused. At work, school, or in a shared social group, you can be civil without seeking extra conversations or using every encounter to look for signs of interest. If you need to discuss a task or plan, keep the conversation on that subject.
- Reduce optional reminders. Consider muting or unfollowing their social-media accounts for a while, avoiding visits to their profile, and limiting unnecessary messages or one-to-one hangouts. If you share friends or activities, you may not be able to avoid every group encounter; focus on choices that are feasible rather than aiming for total avoidance. Examples of healthy relationship boundaries can help you think through what limits feel appropriate.
- Bring your attention back to your own life. Make plans with supportive people, return to interests you have set aside, and keep up with ordinary responsibilities. The National Institute of Mental Health recommends self-care practices such as staying connected, making time for activities you enjoy, and setting priorities as part of caring for mental health.
- Give the feelings room without feeding the story. Journaling or talking with someone you trust may help you identify what you miss, hope for, or feel uncertain about. Try to separate what you know from what you are imagining about the person or a possible future.
If you have a crush you see every day at school, the same general ideas apply: keep necessary interactions respectful, limit optional checking or contact where practical, and make time for friends and activities that are not centered on the crush. This is general advice rather than school-specific clinical guidance. If the situation is causing significant distress, consider speaking with a trusted adult or school counselor.
If they do not feel the same—or the relationship cannot happen
Unreturned feelings and a relationship that cannot happen can bring real disappointment. That pain is not proof that something is wrong with you. A helpful step is to accept what you know about the situation rather than repeatedly searching for clues that the other person may change their mind. You cannot choose their feelings, and you do not have to keep yourself emotionally on hold while waiting for a different outcome.
Try to remember the person and the situation accurately. It can be easy to focus only on what seems wonderful or on the future you hoped for. You do not need to make yourself dislike them or compile a list of faults; instead, balance your memories with the facts of how the relationship actually works and what is available to you. Healthline suggests checking idealized impressions against specific memories and accepting the reality behind persistent thoughts.
You may still care about someone while deciding not to pursue a relationship or give them unlimited access to your time and attention. Setting a boundary does not require proving that your feelings have disappeared.
What if you live with them?
Living with someone can make distance difficult. The available guidance here does not provide specific instructions for cohabiting ex-partners or shared households, so any plan needs to fit your circumstances. Where feasible, distinguish necessary household communication—such as coordinating bills or chores—from optional emotional conversations, messaging, or checking their online activity. Clear, practical limits may help, but you do not have to adopt a plan that is unrealistic for your home.
Do not assume that moving out is possible or that the same arrangement works for everyone. If you feel unsafe or pressured, general advice about reducing contact may not be enough; reach out to someone you trust or a qualified local support service for help suited to your situation.
How to act like you do not care about them anymore
You do not need to perform indifference. Aim to behave in a way that is calm and respectful: say hello if appropriate, keep necessary conversations focused, and decline optional contact when that is what you need. Avoid trying to provoke jealousy, punish the person, or use emotional games to get a reaction. The purpose of a boundary is to guide your own choices, not to control what the other person thinks or feels.
How to care less about what other people think
Worrying about a particular person’s opinion is different from trying to get over a romantic attachment. The realistic aim is not to stop caring about everyone’s feedback; it is to decide whose input is useful and how much weight to give it. The guidance on weighing other people’s opinions against your own values recommends distinguishing constructive feedback from criticism that does not deserve equal influence.
You might ask whether the feedback comes from someone you trust, relates to something you genuinely want to improve, and fits with your values. Consider it without letting every opinion determine your choices. If repeated uncertainty about the person’s behavior is also affecting your confidence, you can read about common relationship insecurities and how they can show up; it is a general resource, not a diagnosis of your situation.
What you can control when you cannot control the situation
You cannot guarantee that someone will return your feelings, change their mind, or respond in a particular way. You can choose whether to pursue contact, what boundaries you set, how you respond during necessary encounters, and where you put your attention next. Accepting that distinction may not make the situation painless, but it can help you focus on decisions that are yours to make.
Support from trusted friends or family can make a difficult period less isolating. If distress is severe, continues, or interferes with everyday life, consider talking with a qualified mental-health professional. NIMH advises seeking professional help for severe or distressing mental-health symptoms, including symptoms lasting two weeks or more; that is general guidance, not a timeline for getting over someone or a diagnosis of romantic distress.